I don’t want to run
In fact I don’t want to do anything these days.
I’m in a funk – I’m tired – I’m busy – I’m borderline depressed
I have so many priorities that it’s becoming hard to prioritize them.
I need to run
When I don’t run I feel bad – I’m not sure why. I don’t just feel mentally bad but I feel physically bad – my body needs it but fights it at the same time.
I want to sleep
I want to eat a jelly donut
I want to smoke
I want to go on a Caribbean vacation.
I want to write that novel I keep taking out and putting away.
I want to spend more quality time with my kids and my husband.
I want to lose that last 10 pounds; that last damn 10 pounds – why won’t it leave?
I know what I need to do; to become a better runner, to become a better mother, to become healthier, and yet I don’t really do any of it; I’m too busy.
|I don't have an excuse|
My body wants to run, but my mind wants to eat a burger for lunch.
It’s a real conundrum
I have thought about quitting – not just running. I mean like hitting the re-do button – I reinvention of self; even a reinvention of self is hard; I’m just too busy to do it.
Taking chances is not what I do, not normally anyways. Taking chances always means risking something, and I’m not one to take risks (ironically that is what my career is based on – risk).
Today I’m going to run – I’m just going to go and do it. I’m going to put my shoes on and hit the path.
There has never been a time when I’ve finished a run that I felt bad; it always makes me feel better. It’s the doing part.
The reinvention of self will come later.
Perhaps I’m having a mid-life crisis?
Perhaps I’m just feeling unmotivated these days.
I really have no excuses.
My thinking is that after spending a week eating Jelly Donuts in the Caribbean whilst smoking and drinking I will once again find my motivation? Weird I know.
So I’m going to take this one day at a time.
That’s all we can do right? Take it one day at a time.
I’m going to re-draft my overwhelming to-do list and set myself some smaller more attainable goals.
One step at a time – One foot in front of the other.
|And I might!|