Diary of a Runner?

I'm confused. 

It seems so alien to call myself a runner, but I've heard the general rule of thumb is that after you've completed your first race you can officially call yourself one... hmmm

The thing is, at the beginning of this journey I truly was a non-runner, not only physically but mentally.  One year ago when I volunteered at my first race, I never thought for a second that I'd actually be in one.

There were times whilst training that I truly hated running.  For instance, running in gale force winds is NOT cool; running with a headache..not cool either... and then there were the other distasteful things like snot running down my face (especially attractive when your hair sticks to it), or bleeding toes, or make-up (while running on my lunch hour) that melted off my face and created big black globs of yuck in the corners of my eyes...yes these things my friends are not pleasant.

But..there are also the magical things.  I use the word magical simply because they came so unexpectedly to me.  Running on nice days and that feeling like you could run forever, the release of all of your pent up tensions (yes I cried a few times while running..and only sometimes because of the pain).  Watching your body change and become more muscular, and you know..even my 'runners knee'; I was almost going to add that to the list of unpleasant things but in some 'sick' way I'm a little proud of it.

Yesterday though I discovered the true magic of running; the complete and utter sense of accomplishment.  It's that "I DID IT" (and I'm still alive) feeling.  It's that feeling that the sky is the limit, and that perhaps I should stop limiting myself...stop using the word can't.  It's very hard to explain how proud I was of myself...because it really is just this surreal feeling.

Before the race...hopefully I'll find one of finishing the race too...

I don't want to make this blog sound negative....because it's not... BUT I could have done better...I know I could have.  There are times during yesterday's race that I could have pushed myself more...but didn't.  I'm glad it all went down the way it did though...because now I want to do better!  I want to beat my time...I want to get better at this.  I'm addicted for lack of words...addicted to that feeling you get when you cross that damn finish line.  It's not just the sea of supportive faces that greet you, or the cheering, or the loud bells... or even the faces of the people on the course that benefit from L'Arche..all of those things are wonderful...but it's that "I fricken did something I never thought I could do!".. feeling that one could find themselves addicted to.

So guess what?

I'm not done!

I want to keep training.... I want to do this again.

My time was 59:26:94.  When I originally came in I thought I was 1:02...I was elated to discover later that I actually met my goal of coming in just under one hour.  I came in 45th out of 72 female 8k runners...and so I'm going to say that's around the middle...and I'm happy about that!

Last year we raised $23k for L'Arche....this year we raised $40k..and this is so awesome!  It's so nice to see them receive that cheque. 

So...on to my Oscar speech...sorry but I must give one;

Thank you to those who have been following this journey of mine through my blogs.  Knowing you were reading them each week made me accountable in a big way.  Thank you also to a few special people who inspired me..Shirley, Don, Dawn and Lori...each of you in your own way made me feel like I could actually do this.

I also want to thank Duncan...my brother...because I swear to god..every time I was struggling..one of his songs would come across my ipod...

Now...it's time to go back to blogging about regular things... I hope I remember how..but for now...this series has had a good 'run' (lol)...

Thank You!