I’m a pretty practical person.
Even though much of my career was spent taking ‘risks’; I’m not very risky.
I make safe decisions. I make sure that things are taken care of. I think things through until they can no longer be thought through. I look at things from every angle… even if this means standing on my head. I do a lot of ‘yes butting’ and I tend to take the road that is well traveled.
I do this because for one, I was taught that you always needed a back-up plan. That you needed to be realistic. You had to make choices in your life that made sense. You could not get by in life on a bunch of pipe dreams.
In March of this year I decided I was going to be different. I was going to throw practicality out the window and I was going to take a leap of faith (see blog). Throwing all caution to the wind I decided I needed more out of my life. I needed to make a difference. I wanted to jump out of bed every morning and be excited to go to work. Just to step back a second, my current career had done me well. It was something I’d done for more than 20 years and something I feel I did well, but I just couldn’t fathom doing it for another 20 years. I do hesitate when I say this because some day I may come crawling back ‘head-in-hand’ but I’m being honest.
I had discussed a career change with my husband for some time; being a cop was something that really intrigued me and so, one day in March is was in the paper; a big recruiting segment from our local Police Force. It was my husband who encouraged me to move forward and so I did.
The application is quite lengthy. I went through it nervously making sure I left no stone unturned and then because I was so nervous I had my friend drive me to the station to drop it off; then I waited. My initial application was rejected. I was very upset. I thought it was a sign that I was doomed. I know right, talk about drama, but it was such a big step for me that I thought it was a definite sign I was crazy. The reason I failed is because my vision was not where it was supposed to be, guess what? My hubby paid for me to get my eyes done. I resubmitted my application! Again I waited. When you are an impatient person like me, waiting is a BIG DEAL. I was then scheduled to write some tests and I passed them! My most exciting day was being told I was assigned a file manager. That means I was on my way!
I can’t give you all the goods, I mean I’m still on my way. As I said, it’s a long process. I sometimes joke that it’s longer for me because I’m an old lady. I HAVE TO PASS my next test which is a pretty big physical. I’m going to pass that thing someday.
Where am I going with this?
I’m still a really practical person. I’m trying to be less practical. I’m trying to think things through way less. I’m trying to adopt a ‘whatever happens-happens’ philosophy.. because truly, that’s the case. I am trying to make decisions that make me ‘happy’ instead of decisions that only ‘make sense’. I’ll tell you this, it would be much easier for me to quit this ‘dreaming’ and go back to doing what I did before. I honestly think though that it would be me who loses in the end; if quitting is what I choose to do.
Recently I was let go from a job I had done for a long time; the organization is going through a bit of a transformation. I can’t say I didn’t expect it. My new job is spending time in the gym trying to prepare my body and mind for my next big test.
I’m tired – I’m sore – I’m anxious that I’ve made the wrong decision – I’m scared that I won’t do a good job – But if life has taught me anything so far, it’s that it’s too short. I do not know of course where this journey is going to take me but I do know that I’m set out on a very different course than the one I was once on.
Taking leaps of faith and throwing all caution to the wind is not my thing. Maybe it’s not your thing either, but maybe you should give it a try. I feel fresh, new and empowered. It’s the best feeling in the world.